Motherhood: One year later

Grace has her first birthday on Saturday, and I still can't believe it. One year ago I started a new journey as a full time mother, and I have loved it every step of the way. Now although it hasn't been without its trials, it has undoubtedly been the best year of my life. Motherhood is a constant battle of messy diapers, tears, and "No, Grace. No, don't touch that," but it is also a constant reward of smiles, kisses, and hugs every single day.

I wanted to take some time to write down the things that my little Grace has continued to remind me in this wonderful past year. While it is known that parents are the role models for their children, I find myself everyday thinking that I should actually aspire to be more like Grace. It is so true that children look up to their parents, but I think us parents need to take some notes from our own children as well, for Jesus Himself says in Matthew 18:3, "In truth I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven."

Actions speak louder than words.

Although Grace cannot communicate verbally, the love that radiates from her actions speak louder than words ever could. Words can't even describe how I feel when she looks at me from across the room and just smiles. Not a word is spoken, yet I feel like she has said a thousand words in just one smile. What if we all looked at each other and just smiled more often? What if we just gave each other a little acknowledgement that "Hey, I see you, and it makes me happy to see you." Maybe all it takes is a little more smiling to make this world a better place. Let someone see that you are happy to see them. It's one little action, but it could change the world. It changes mine every single day.

Laughter is the best medicine.

If Grace falls and bumps her head, it's only natural for her to start crying. But as soon as I pick her up and play a quick "peek-a-boo" with her, or even just tickle her a bit, that crying is automatically substituted for her adorable laughter. Suddenly, that bump doesn't seem so bad anymore. I think we could all use a bit more laughter in our lives. So let's not dwell on the bad things that happen to us. Let's learn to move on to the happiness, because there really is so much to be happy about.

Forgiveness.

We were all born with an impeccable ability to forgive, but as we get older it somehow becomes harder and harder. We begin to hold more grudges, and our pride keeps us from moving on. Grace is my daily reminder to always forgive. She forgives so easily, as we all should. When I take something away from her she is incredibly upset. She looks at me, cries, sometimes even screams, but about .2 seconds later she's climbing onto my lap and giving me a hug. It melts my heart. In her eyes I have "wronged" her, but her love is bigger than that. Her love overpowers any anger that she could have.

Simplicity

Eat, sleep, play. Grace's daily schedule reminds me of how simple life could really be. She is so content with such simple items, and it is a reminder that there really was life before technology. She helps remind me to turn off the T.V. and pick up a book, turn off the music so I can kneel down and pray, turn off my phone so I can sit and write. Technology is not a necessity, it is just a luxury. We would definitely survive without it, and we may even be happier if there was just a little bit less of it.

Grace has literally been my "saving grace." She pulls me closer to God and makes me want to be a better person. I never knew that I could learn so much from a child so small, yet here she is, twenty pounds and showing me the path to Heaven. So thank you, Grace, for the never-ending love you continue to show me along with reminding me of what's truly important in life.

So what's my end consensus on motherhood, you ask?

10/10: Would definitely recommend.

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The Best Jewelry is Modesty

"Dress how you want other women to dress around your husband."
~Kim Doebler

Modesty. That crazy, forbidden word. 

The use of the word has significantly depleted since the 1800s, and nowadays it is synonymous with prude, goody-good, potato sack. Little did you know the word prude actually comes from the French word prou, meaning "good and worthy."

Now even though I'm not dressing to find a husband anymore, modesty will continue be a goal of mine until the day that I die. I still want others to see me for what my mind can do, not for what my body can do. I want to dress in a way so that other men to know how much I love and respect my husband, and I would never want to give another man the opportunity to look at me like I'm a piece of meat.

A couple of months ago I vowed to dress in a way that shows my feminine qualities while still holding true to my views on modesty. For me, pants and shorts just don't fit into these categories anymore. Pants these days are so skin tight that they fit more like spandex than they do pants, shorts are so short that you might as well not be wearing anything at all, and leggings, while they "cover" your legs, are nothing more than an extra layer of skin suctioned to your body.

The only thing that makes me feel like a woman anymore are skirts and dresses that at least come down to my knees or lower. Knee length is perfect because I can walk around and not have to continuously pull down my skirt to make sure nothing is showing. I can pick something off the ground and not worry if my skirt is going to fly up. And last but not least, skirts just make me feel pretty, and I absolutely love that feeling.

It's human nature to want to be respected by others, but the only way a woman can expect to be respected by a man is by respecting herself first. So many women think that they should be able to wear anything they want and still receive the respect that they somehow believe they are entitled to. Respect is earned. Let a man see you for the mind you have, and give him the opportunity to respect your heart and soul first. I love that when I met my husband, he respected me for my mind and soul, not for the body that I have.

You do not have to reveal your body to the public to make a statement of your confidence. Instead, reveal your dignity to the world to show the confidence that you truly have. Prove to the world (and to yourself) that you can attract a man's attention by the virtues that you possess and the love that you hold in your heart. You are more than the body that you have, so let a man's first impression of you be the mystique of your heart and soul. Let him come back wanting to know more of your mind, more of what's in your heart, more of the love that you hold. 

Now I'm not saying dress in a potato sack. There is nothing wrong with dressing to impress or dressing with a figure. But dress with a dignity that leaves a man wondering what else you have to give. 

Let his eyes be attracted to your soul, and he will respect you with the love that you truly deserve.

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A Letter to my Baby Tiny Up Above

My dearest Baby Tiny,

Just ten short weeks to know you, and ten short weeks to love you with all my being. You were the life and love within me. Now you are my life and love from up above.

Your little soul was too strong for this world, your little heart was too good. But now there are bigger plans for you with God, plans that are filled with happiness, joy, and love.

Although I wish with all my heart to be the one to cuddle you and kiss you every night, I will gladly give that task to God. Now you will love Him just as I would have hoped you would, and in return He will show you more love than you ever thought was possible.

Only time will cure the absolute emptiness I feel with you gone, but my dear baby, you are in God's hands now, and what a great set of hands that is to be in.

Until we meet again,

Mama

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The Infamous "But" Catholic

We all know at least one, and you might be guilty of it as well. Unfortunately, I shamefully know that I have. What I'm talking about is the infamous "But" Catholic. These people have a reputation of using the word "Catholic" and "but" in the same sentence, and in this day and age, they're probably not too hard to come by.

Common phrases of a "But" Catholic:

"I'm Catholic, but I have sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend."

"I'm Catholic, but I use contraception."

"I'm Catholic, but I just don't go to church on Sundays."

"I'm Catholic, but I think abortion is a woman's choice."

"I'm Catholic, but I support gay marriage."

Pretty much any sentence that starts with "I'm Catholic, BUT...." probably means that you're actually not Catholic. I think first we have to start by getting rid of saying "So-and-so" Catholics. There are no such things as "Liberal" Catholics, "Conservative" Catholics, or even "But" Catholics. You're either Catholic or you're not. And if you're going to be Catholic then my goodness BE Catholic.

Now this is something I definitely had to learn the hard way. So many times I wish I could go back and slap myself in the face for calling myself Catholic and then doing things that were blatantly against my Catholic faith. Because seriously, what's the point of calling yourself Catholic if you're not even going to follow it?

I think what many people don't understand (or don't want to understand) is that Doctrine in the Catholic Church is not simply a compilation of suggestions that we may choose whether we will or will not follow or believe. They are actual rules that say "You MUST believe and follow this in order to call yourself a Catholic."

I'm telling you right now, ditch the "But" Catholic mindset. Let's get away from "I'm Catholic, but..." and start saying "I'm Catholic. Period." It may not be easy, but my goodness it will be worth it.

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Kenosha News Article: "Expecting fifth child, mom learns she has cancer. Family in Kenosha, friends provide support, prayers"

Expecting fifth child, mom learns she has cancer 

Family in Kenosha, friends provide support, prayers

BY DENEEN SMITH

dsmith@kenoshanews.com

 

Michelle Cascio and her husband Tim say grace before a late lunch. Michelle is pregnant and due in March. During her pregnancy, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer. She had surgery in the fall to remove the mass, but has refused chemo or radiation until after the baby is born.

A Kenosha family is seeking prayers and support for a mother who learned while pregnant with her fifth child that she has pancreatic cancer.

Tim and Michelle Cascio have four children — girls age 7, 5 and 2, and a 9-month-old son who has Down syndrome — and are expecting their fifth, a daughter they have already named Ciara, due in late March.

Michelle said she was experiencing pain in October and went to the hospital, thinking she had kidney stones during her pregnancy. In testing, doctors saw what they believed was a cyst on her pancreas.

She had surgery to remove what they hoped was a benign growth. “But they found it was cancer,” Michelle said. During the surgery half her pancreas was removed, along with her spleen.

While they went along with the surgery, Michelle said she and her husband have opted not to have any further treatment for the cancer during her pregnancy. She will need to have chemotherapy and radiation after the baby is born.

Although doctors have suggested she have the baby early, they plan to have the pregnancy go to term. “I’m not willing to do that right now,” Michelle said of the early delivery. “She’s been through so much, I’m trying to do everything I can to make sure she’s fine.”

Instead, the strongly Catholic couple and their extended family are focusing on prayer. She said her family and supporters are praying a novena to Our Lady of Good Success.

Tim Cascio grew up in Kenosha, one of nine children in a big Italian-Irish family. Although the couple now live in Menomonee Falls and are members of St. Stanislaus parish in Milwaukee, most of the family is still here.

Tim’s sister Kamela Gleason of Kenosha started an online GoFundMe campaign to try to help offset medical costs and any future needs for the family. The campaign has been shared among Catholic groups, and people have been reaching out to them with prayers and financial support. The fund raised about $20,000 in two days.

Michelle said she felt a bit strange about that — “you always look at those things and don’t think your own situation merits it. There are people out there with bigger need” — but said she has been touched by the outpouring of help. “I can’t believe how caring and loving people are,” she said. “People are so kind, from meals to prayers to masses to donations.”

Michelle’s faith is helping guide her. She said before she learned she was pregnant she was at church praying a rosary. “I just finished the rosary and I heard the voice of God. I know that sounds crazy, but he said five words to me. He said ‘I know what you need.’” Michelle said.

Shortly after, she said, she learned she was pregnant. “And I thought oh, this is what God means.”

Now, she is not sure. “I remember God telling me at the very beginning, I know what you need. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if he is saying I know what you need to get to heaven.”

Regardless, she said, she feels strong and at peace. Funny, she says, because typically she is the type that cries at the sappy commercials and was in the past so worried about her health that her husband would joke that she was a hypochondriac.

“It has to be grace, because there is no other way I can do this,” she said. “It has to be because everyone is praying.”

To support the Cascio family, visit their fundraising page —- which includes the novena to Our Lady of Good Success — at www.gofundme.com/2eeytz2c

(Clockwise from Left) Capri, Tim, Clare, Chloe, Culen, Michelle (& Ciara)

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Pregnant with Pancreatic Cancer

If you happen to stumble upon my blog, there is something that I'd like to ask of you.

Please help out my Aunt Michelle who has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is also pregnant with their 5th child. Whether it is financially or spiritually, your help is much appreciated!

Michelle Cascio GoFundMe link

Thank you everyone! Have a Merry Christmas!

Anna

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Children = Bliss

"How can you say there are too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."
             -Mother Teresa

As many people may know, I want like...a bazillion children. Okay that may be an exaggeration, but I'm hoping for at least 7. Luckily I've found the world's most awesome guy that is okay with that, because nowadays they're very hard to come by.

I know I might seem incredibly crazy to some people, but that's why I'm here to tell you how having a lot of children will encourage my fiance and me to become better, more selfless people, while strengthening our marriage at the same time.

When people hear "lots of children" they usually wig out a bit. Most people wonder, "How in the world are you guys going to afford that?" but I think the biggest problem is that most people don't understand the definition of "afford." The word "afford" does not mean having enough money to buy everything you want. "Afford" means being able to have food, clothes, and shelter. That's all you need to survive. My children will never starve. They probably won't be eating steak off of a solid gold platter every night, but they will not starve.

Nowadays we don't work to survive. We don't even work to afford the common necessities. We work more because we want more stuff. We work harder because we're not okay with just "comfortable" living. We constantly need more and more and bigger and better. We are never satisfied.

Because of our fallen human nature, our natural instinct is to be selfish, to want more for ourselves. It's something that each and every one of us suffer from. Today the divorce rate is higher than ever, and I can guarantee you it is because couples are having less and less children, and buying more and more for themselves. They become caught up in the material world, and the material world is a very selfish place. With more children, husbands and wives learn selflessness. They focus less on themselves and their feelings, and more on others around them. They work harder because they want to give their children better lives, not because they want more for themselves. They learn to survive without the luxuries, and they learn to live more simply. My fiance and I will probably not have the funds to get each other the most expensive things, but we will be able to share the joy of the children that God created for us, and I'd take that over anything.

By choosing to have a lot of children, my fiance and I are choosing comfortable and doing away with luxurious. Instead of giving more to ourselves, we are choosing to give more to our children. Sure the money that we could have used to get a brand new car will probably go towards diapers, but to me that's a bit more rewarding. I think people are afraid that the more children they have, the less they will have for themselves. And that's actually a very true statement. By having a lot of children I am giving less to myself, but I know that I'm gaining something so much better. I'll have a bunch of little cuties running around calling me "Mama,"and I think that's worth a whole lot more.

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