External and Internal Perfection

We live in a world where perfection is of utmost importance. We have to have the perfect job, perfect car, perfect house, perfect cookie-cutter life. When we put this all together, we create our external perfection.

We all strive for this external perfection in one way or another. It's human nature to want to seem "put together," like we've got life all figured out. But in reality I think we can all agree that we probably put more effort than we should into making our lives seem perfect to those around us.

Perhaps we should wonder, though, where is this external perfection going to get us in the end? Where is all of it going to go once we leave this earth? I'll tell you plain and simple, it's going to stay right where you left it. The second you take your last breath, all of your material objects will become obsolete. They will mean nothing to you anymore, and they will do nothing for you. Your fate will not be determined by your car, your house, or your "stuff." Instead, it will be determined by something much more important, something much more crucial to your well-being. Your internal perfection.

Kindness, love, generosity, charity. These are the qualities that will ultimately determine our eternal life. We are all going to be standing at those pearly gates one day and we will be asked, "But how kind were you? How much love did you give? Did you give until you could give no more?" And we will have to answer each and every question with brutal honesty.

We will not be able to say, "But God, look what I have achieved. Look at my house, look at my car, look at my bank account." Our external perfection means nothing to God unless we have used it to benefit someone else. Did you use your house as a shelter for others? Did you use your car to complete good deeds? Was your bank account used to give to charity? If not, then your external perfection has gotten the best of you.

So let us strive for internal perfection, not external perfection. Let us strive for perfection in our hearts, not perfection in our houses. Let us strive for perfect kindness, not perfect paychecks.

In the words of St. Francis of Assisi, "Remember that when you leave this earth you can take nothing that you have received- only what you have given."

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Submission and Love in Marriage

Submission is such a feared word among both men and women today. It is viewed as a sign of weakness, a sign that "you can't hold your own." However, to be able to submit to another person is a quality that takes so much strength and fortitude, it is hardly a sign of weakness. 

Submission plays a big part in marriage as I have learned in the past few months. I remember when the priest quoted Colossians 3:18 during his sermon at our wedding. Those dreaded words came out of his mouth echoing through the church:

"Wives, be subject to your husbands." 

I can just imagine what was going through the minds of those sitting in the pews who are not so religious, and I'm sure it went something like this:

Woman: "Are you kidding me?! She should not have to subject to him! She is not his property. How dare they say that."

Man: "Yeah man! What I say goes. This guy knows what he's talking about! I'm going to use this line next time."

But what they failed to hear is the next verse which is of utmost importance.

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter towards them."

Women, do not think you have the short end of the stick here. You may be thinking, "Why do I have to break down and submit to him, and all he has to do is "love" me?" But I think we all know that loving someone, especially when you don't particularly feel like loving them, is hard work. 

These men are not getting off easy by any means. God does not say to them, "Love your wives only when they're making you happy." No, it simply says to love. He must love you when you're being difficult, he must love you when you're moody, he must love you when you're mad. And I give men props for this, because I know how I can be, and I know how other women can be, and let's just say that we can be quite scary sometimes. 

Yes, girls, the verse does still say to submit to your husbands. Allow him to be the head of the household, let him make the final decisions on what is best for the family. And if you love him as you should, your submission will not seem so difficult. But remember, men, while you are making these decisions, you must do it with supreme love for your wife. If you love her with your whole heart, you will make decisions with her in mind. 

Submission and love go hand in hand, for there cannot be one without the other. It takes both to make a couple grow together through life's trials and tribulations. 

Marriage is no picnic, my friends, but with genuine effort and love from one another, it can turn into something truly beautiful. 

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Balance: Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

I find that, as a Catholic, the hardest thing I struggle with is balance. It's hard finding a good balance between when I should pray and when I should play, when I should relax and when I should work, but most of all, I find balance is quite hard when it comes to sticking up for my faith.

Balance is quite important when it comes to the Catholic faith. First and foremost, Jesus tells us to "Love your neighbor as yourself." It's one of the two Great Commandments, and it's a requirement for Heaven. Yet Jesus also tells us to not fall into the ways of the world for we are suppose to live in the world, not of the world. We are not suppose to conform to what society deems as "normal" when it actually goes against the rules that God has laid out for us. But it's hard sticking up for your faith without seeming as if you're condemning someone or severely judging them for their actions.

So the question is, is it really possible to love someone while also speaking against what they do and the lifestyle that they live?

It really is possible, but it takes balance. I struggle with this so much because it requires a great deal of discipline, so much that I feel I will spend my entire life trying to perfect it.

One thing that has really helped me as I try to find this balance in my life is learning exactly what to judge. I read something once that said you can judge someone's actions, but you cannot judge their intentions. There is nothing wrong with making a conclusion about a situation or a lifestyle that someone chooses to follow. What you can't conclude, though, is that their intentions are evil.

We are not given the ability to read the hearts of others. That job is solely for God and God alone because only He knows the true intentions of each and every person on this earth. If you speak against something, speak against it with a gentle disposition. Speak against it because of how much you love God, not because you just want to tell someone what they're doing wrong. If that is too hard (and with our human nature, it definitely can be sometimes) choose to lead by your life example for this will show others more than words ever could.

In the words of St. Augustine, "Love the sinner, hate the sin."

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Motherhood: One year later

Grace has her first birthday on Saturday, and I still can't believe it. One year ago I started a new journey as a full time mother, and I have loved it every step of the way. Now although it hasn't been without its trials, it has undoubtedly been the best year of my life. Motherhood is a constant battle of messy diapers, tears, and "No, Grace. No, don't touch that," but it is also a constant reward of smiles, kisses, and hugs every single day.

I wanted to take some time to write down the things that my little Grace has continued to remind me in this wonderful past year. While it is known that parents are the role models for their children, I find myself everyday thinking that I should actually aspire to be more like Grace. It is so true that children look up to their parents, but I think us parents need to take some notes from our own children as well, for Jesus Himself says in Matthew 18:3, "In truth I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven."

Actions speak louder than words.

Although Grace cannot communicate verbally, the love that radiates from her actions speak louder than words ever could. Words can't even describe how I feel when she looks at me from across the room and just smiles. Not a word is spoken, yet I feel like she has said a thousand words in just one smile. What if we all looked at each other and just smiled more often? What if we just gave each other a little acknowledgement that "Hey, I see you, and it makes me happy to see you." Maybe all it takes is a little more smiling to make this world a better place. Let someone see that you are happy to see them. It's one little action, but it could change the world. It changes mine every single day.

Laughter is the best medicine.

If Grace falls and bumps her head, it's only natural for her to start crying. But as soon as I pick her up and play a quick "peek-a-boo" with her, or even just tickle her a bit, that crying is automatically substituted for her adorable laughter. Suddenly, that bump doesn't seem so bad anymore. I think we could all use a bit more laughter in our lives. So let's not dwell on the bad things that happen to us. Let's learn to move on to the happiness, because there really is so much to be happy about.

Forgiveness.

We were all born with an impeccable ability to forgive, but as we get older it somehow becomes harder and harder. We begin to hold more grudges, and our pride keeps us from moving on. Grace is my daily reminder to always forgive. She forgives so easily, as we all should. When I take something away from her she is incredibly upset. She looks at me, cries, sometimes even screams, but about .2 seconds later she's climbing onto my lap and giving me a hug. It melts my heart. In her eyes I have "wronged" her, but her love is bigger than that. Her love overpowers any anger that she could have.

Simplicity

Eat, sleep, play. Grace's daily schedule reminds me of how simple life could really be. She is so content with such simple items, and it is a reminder that there really was life before technology. She helps remind me to turn off the T.V. and pick up a book, turn off the music so I can kneel down and pray, turn off my phone so I can sit and write. Technology is not a necessity, it is just a luxury. We would definitely survive without it, and we may even be happier if there was just a little bit less of it.

Grace has literally been my "saving grace." She pulls me closer to God and makes me want to be a better person. I never knew that I could learn so much from a child so small, yet here she is, twenty pounds and showing me the path to Heaven. So thank you, Grace, for the never-ending love you continue to show me along with reminding me of what's truly important in life.

So what's my end consensus on motherhood, you ask?

10/10: Would definitely recommend.

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